On Cats

"Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a cat."
- Franklin P. Jones

"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic."

"My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes."

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.